If you have ever wondered what it would be like to combine aspects of several popular yet polarising bands such as Cradle of Filth, Rammstein, Murderdolls and Type O Negative then Dani Filth led gothic bunch Devilment may have provided something of an answer.
Now, as a writer, I have to find the appropriate words to discuss exactly what that answer is in an eloquent and diplomatic way. So here we go…
This album is shit.
You can carry on reading if you like, but the above statement is pretty much all the press this absolute abomination deserves. The repulsive mish mash of sleep inducing riffs and badly cliched keyboard sections are only overshadowed by Dani Filth’s trademark squeal/gruff angry gnome vocals. The dad humour in the lyrics and song titles (“Even Your Blood Group Rejects Me”?) is painfully unfunny and only further weakens the already turgid material.
There are only two possible reasons I can see for the existence of this album. Either Dani Filth has cynically tried to create an album so full of generic toss that he knows he can sell plenty and add that guitar shaped swimming pool to his grounds that he’s always wanted… Or he is in fact trolling the world by creating something he knows is dreadful but will fly off the shelves anyway. If it’s the latter then I have to say that “The Great and Secret Show” is indeed a masterpiece. If not then it’s only redeeming feature is that everyone involved in it’s creation will one day be dead.
Rather than writing a summary, I have instead chosen to write a short list of things I would rather do than listen to this album:
- Drink a bucket of old-man spit
- Cut my toenails and then insert them into my eyelids where I have to keep them for a week
- Call UFC Heavyweight Champion Cain Velasquez a pussy and then send him my home address and a list of my fears
- Attend a Green Day concert
- Publicly declare a crush on constipated turtle faced hate machine Katie Hopkins…
(Editors Note: The list went on for another six pages, so thought it best we cut it off here…!)